50 First Dates (for YOURSELF)
- Taylor Crown
- Jan 12, 2021
- 4 min read
Dating... honestly one of the most traumatic, anxiety-filled experiences you'll face in your lifetime. At least, that's what it's come down to.
In a time where hook up culture and instant gratification is the closest you'll get to finding a significant other, it can make dating a challenging, irritating, and tiresome experience.
Everyone has their own form of fear of intimacy, whether they are a closed-off person or past trauma has cut so deep, they don't see themselves getting involved in another relationship in the future. For me, I experienced a lot of mental and emotional abuse from someone I thought I trusted so deeply, and in turn that fueled a fear of abandonment, anxious attachment styles, and codependent habits, that in doing so, I chased all of my potential suitors (thanks Bridgerton) away. That was until I learned how to choose myself first. Until I learned how to treat myself in the way I wanted someone else to treat me, and that was when I decided to date myself.
Yup, that's right. For this past year, I entered a committed relationship with myself. I treated myself with kindness and respect, bought myself gifts, took myself out on dates, and enjoyed every ounce of my own company.
Was it weird at first? Yes, a little bit. It was out of my comfort zone, but over time, I grew to value and love my alone time more than anyone will ever understand, and that's coming from someone that used to be scared shitless of being alone with her thoughts, her feelings, and her own company.
Dating myself... learning my needs, my wants, my likes, my dislikes, and learning what truly made me happy, and thrive in life was the best decision I could have ever made, so I've made a list of 50 date ideas that you can do WITHOUT anyone else... just you, yourself, your energy, your emotions, your thoughts...enjoying your life and your own company.
50 DATES IDEAS FOR YOURSELF
Go to your favorite local coffee shop.
Go the gym, spend time focused + present on you and your goals.
Grab your journal, a blanket, and watch the sunrise.
Attend a yoga class.
Take yourself out to see a movie.
Eat at your favorite restaurant.
Go for a walk, music in your ear, turn on 'do not disturb', and just be present.
Get out of your comfort zone and do something you've always wanted to.
Grab your favorite snacks and take yourself on a sunset picnic.
Buy yourself flowers, dress up, and take yourself somewhere nice.
Get in the car, and go for a drive. Windows down. Music on stereo.
Rose petal bath + some wine.
Take yourself out for ice cream.
Get dressed up and take pictures.
Go explore somewhere new.
Order takeout and have a movie marathon.
Go on a hike.
Learn something new -- writing, painting, skateboarding, whatever it may be.
Go to a museum.
Find your local library or bookstore, and get some new books.
Take yourself to the spa for a massage.
Go on a sightseeing tour around your city or town.
Go for a long bike ride.
Go shopping + find a new style out of your comfort zone.
Redecorate your room.
Try baking something new, and experimenting.
Go see live music.
Grab a glass of wine somewhere with outdoor seating, enjoy the views, take in the moment.
Find a new brunch spot.
Attend a dance class.
Enjoy a night at your local comedy club.
Create a vision board, write out your dreams, and envision the future.
Make a travel itinerary of places you'd like to visit.
Enjoy a day at the farmer's market.
Meditate, and be present with yourself.
Do something adventurous like kayaking, ziplining, rock-climbing.
Attend a pottery class.
Learn how to mix music.
Practice your favorite sport.
Do your makeup and hair.
Get your nails done.
Get yourself a coloring book.
Play your favorite video game.
Turn off your phone for the day, and spend it anywhere your heart desires.
Try a new cocktail.
Reorganize your closet, get rid of the old, bring in the new.
Spend a day doing random acts of kindness.
Create. Write poetry. Write a short story. Write a song.
Start a new project.
Do what you love without fear of being alone while doing it.
These are just a few suggestions, but dating yourself, treating yourself with the same love and respect you want from someone else is such an important part of life's journey.
Like I said, I spent this last year, and especially this past summer in a committed relationship with myself where I did something on this list almost every single day. I loved taking myself to experience something new, or just taking time to be present with myself, especially when it came to journaling. I grabbed a journal, a snack, a blanket, my airpods, and watched the sunset nearly every night of the summer. Just sitting with my thoughts and my own emotions that I wouldn't have known I had if I had just been constantly in the presence of someone else's company. And through this last year, I discovered so much about myself, more than I could have ever known had I not dated myself.
I learned what made me happy, and sad, and angry. I learned what made my soul feel alive and what broke me down. I learned how to treat myself with kindness and respect. I learned how to nurture and validate my own emotions. I learned about every last bit of me, which in turn, taught me so much about the relationships I was keeping within my own life.
I learned whether they aligned with who I was or if they were just merely part of my life's lessons and my own journey. And in figuring that out, when people would leave and fade away from my life, I wouldn't get sad anymore. I wouldn't get angry. I wouldn't feel tension or grief. Instead, I would take the lesson and move along.
The people that are meant for you will always find you. And when you learn about who you are to the extent of loving yourself so much, you feel it down to your very core...when people no longer align with you, you can let them go with ease. You can understand that it never had anything to do with you. And you are perfect just the way you are.
So stop dating other people for a bit. Date yourself instead, and notice how your perspective, your inner thoughts and feelings, and the world changes around you.
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