Five Ways to Prioritize Yourself

If we learned anything in this last year, aside from not to take our loved ones for granted, it was to not take ourselves for granted.

I know a lot of people, including myself, throughout the pandemic, faced a rollercoaster of emotions, and battles with our own peace of mind. It was a moment in time were I don't think any of us were quite ready to face yet.

As humans, it's our natural construct to socialize and seek out connection, but as I went through isolation, I realized the most important connection of all in my life was missing: the connection I had with myself.

Overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, and depression, I was completely alone. My roommates were never home, I was miles and miles away from family, and so I had no choice but to dig deep. For me, it was different. I always knew I had underlying emotional trauma and fears I had to learn to conquer, and every time I started to heal and do well, life threw me a curvaball and was like "girl, forreal, you actually need to heal this and not half-ass it..." And in a time of isolation, I knew it was my time to conquer it once and for all.

Healing is one of the most important aspects of self-care, and I think it's overlooked due to the nature of human connection -- on a normal day to day basis, it is so easy to distract ourselves with our friends, our families, our partners, our animals, etc. that we forget to prioritize ourselves. I mean, truly PRI-OR-I-TIZE!

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We see self-care as painting our nails, doing face masks, taking a long bath, having an energy glass of wine or two, indulging in our favorite activity, and while all of those can be a perfect example of self-care, there are a few things missing.

Here are FIVE WAYS you can PRIORITIZE your self-care:

Emotional Validation

Learning how to validate and express your emotions in a healthy way is a form of self-care. By understanding your emotions better, you come more into balance with who you are. You also gain the ability to know the difference between an emotion and the truth. What I mean by this is that the emotion you're experiencing is often tied to another experience, fear, or trauma that may have not been properly expressed or released.

That can then create false narratives and irrationalize situations, such as, let's say, for example, you're talking to someone new... you constantly obsess over communication, checking your phone every five seconds to see if they answered your previous text, oh and look, they're online, but not answering... maybe you had a past situation where you felt rejected, the second choice, or not good enough, you have a lot of pent up fear and anxiety from that situation and because that went un-healed and invalidated, you create a narrative that this newer person is going to do the exact same thing and leave you behind. Then what happens? Self-sabotaging begins.

Instead, by healing the emotional trauma you've experienced, you open yourself up to a more eye-opening view of... "wait a minute, I am good enough, and if they want to text me, they will. If not, their loss..."

Building a Relationship with Yourself

Just as when you're talking to someone new and you're trying to build a relationship, you want to get to know every ounce of information about them... how they like their coffee in the morning, what brings them joy, what makes them sad, what are their views and perspectives about the world, what interests them, what disinterests them, etc...

Same thing with yourself. You have to spend time with yourself, and be present. I mean truly present, not sitting with yourself scrolling on your phone for hours looking at what everyone else is doing. Instead, why don't you take note on how you like your coffee in the morning and what brings YOU joy...

Doing this is not only a form of self-care, but also a way to lead to attracting better relationships within your own life... ones you won't be influenced or misguiding into trying to fit into the matrix, where you lose yourself in the relationship... which, trust me when I say, we've all been there...

Cutting Chords

One of the best things you could do for yourself is getting rid of the things, behaviors, and people that make you feel less than you are, and do not align with your future vision...

It doesn't matter if you've been friends with this person for 10 years. If all they do is belittle you, hold you back from growing to your full potential, and being by your side every step of the way as a positive influence... then let it go. Cut it out.

Sometimes we get comfortable for so long, we come up with excuses as to why we can't cut chords with someone... I've faced this with a lot of friendships. A specific friendship of five years I realized no longer served me or my purpose, and once I cut that relationship, I F L O U R I S H E D. You do not realize how much your relationships influence your day to day life, and how those toxic relationships and people that no longer align with your values, visions, and perspectives keep you stuck...

Setting Boundaries

I talked about setting boundaries in my last post, but this one is especially important. It coincides with your relationships as well and understanding the difference between what serves you and your highest vision of your own life, and what does...

This is as simple as unfollowing the girls/boys you find yourself comparing to on social media, or people who post things that cause anger, frustration, and betrayal within you... unfriend them, block them, do whatever you need to do... you'll be better off...

Being Kind to Yourself

The ULTIMATE form of self-care. This is not just saying kind words and positive affirmations. This is treating your body properly by fueling it with foods and moving it in ways that make you feel good and energized. This is learning how to handle yourself with patience and grace. This is learning about your own needs and how to express/communicate that to yourself and others (and implementing the boundaries needed). This is not beating yourself up after you've failed or when you are less than productive. It's about taking your time, experiencing, and nurturing your body, soul, mind, and emotions with ease, love, and care.

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Above all else, self-care is a way to nurture, love, and be kind to yourself by building and establishing a relationship with yourself so you are aware of your needs, your interests, what makes you happy, etc. before you sacrifice part of you to find it in another person.

Let me know in what ways you prioritize yourself, whether from the list above or a different once that I haven't mentioned. I'd love to know!

Be kind to yourself, beauties.

Love you,

xoxo.